Have you ever lent money to a friend? How did it feel? Did they pay you back eventually? Did you have to ask for it? How many times? Did your relationship suffer from it? Have you ever been on the other side? Did you feel guilty? Ashamed? Did you get defensive?

We’d all like to help our friends. That’s what friends are for after all. When it comes down to lending money however, things rarely turn out well.

It is hard to ask for favors, especially financial favors. That is why people tend to prefer “borrowing” money instead.

The problem is that the second someone says “I promise I’ll pay you back” the guilt of asking for the favor goes away. Even if they end up not paying you back.

Instead of lending people money, I suggest doing this:

1. Give them money instead

If you can, just give them the money instead. That means you don’t have to worry about whether they’ll pay you back or not. And your friend will appreciate you more for it. Also, sometimes they might even end up paying you back anyway when they can, just as genuine gratefulness for doing them that unexpected favor.

2. Suggest trading the money for something they can give you right now

Just because someone is short on money, does not mean they don’t have something to offer you.

Maybe they could use their abnormal carpentry skills to help you with a home renovation? Maybe they could take a look at your resume and suggest how to improve. Maybe they can introduce you to someone you’ve wanted to get access to but couldn’t. Maybe they can promote something for you.

There are millions of ways of paying back immediately for a loan. And they will feel even better that they can add value to your life despite being in a rough financial spot.


Personally, I’ve had many damaged relationships from being owed money. Since I started doing the two options mentioned above, things have been better. Let me know what you think. Do you have any other tactics? Please let me know.

This article was originally posted on www.stillstupid.blog

One thought on “How you should handle friends that want to borrow money

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s